opposite of desserts

I am sorry that I’m not there to offer a hand, lend an ear, give a hug, or share a laugh. The reality that I’m not around to celebrate and commiserate and create is surreal. I assumed I’d always be a productive member of society. Auntie and friend and thorn to many. That isn’t the way it has turned out for this perpetual season. But I am okay. Whatever that means. And I hope you are okay too. Whatever that means.

I don’t know much. And I certainly don’t have answers or a cure. Energy, words, and thoughts are hard to come by, even minor activity and interaction zaps my system. But there are some things that make a difference for me in the midst of unwellness. I didn’t exactly make them up myself. They are a reworked conglomerate from books and specialists and others endeavoring to figure out this nonsense. This musing is not to be seen as comprehensive or fact or truth. This is just a perspective that offers me direction, albeit winding. And I thought I’d share some notes I compiled, maybe it resonates with others too.

Basically, this world can be a pretty stressful place in a variety of ways. Not trying to be too much of a realist, but life inevitably includes daily dilemmas, bodily issues, major changes, and true catastrophes. Both temporary and chronic stressors are a part of life and necessary to some degree. Everyone is their own quirky mix with a unique blend of special and hence handles the wide variety of experiences differently. Even within an individual, effects vary based on whatever else is going on. But then sometimes, things are large and compile and create system stress, which effects our ability to function like normal. Many causes are obvious and remedied with mindful effort. Others not so much:

Structural – things that are physically abnormal in a body are often the easiest to spot:  injury, localized pain, posture, lumps, cysts, tumors, TMJ, misalignment of the spine, surgeries, pregnancy, active infections, diseases, and disabilities. Often a nurse, doctor, surgeon, chiropractor, or physical therapist can help. Things tend to go better when we utilize those with experience, education, and expertise.

Internal – our neurotransmitters and endocrine system should self regulate, but sometimes benefits from outside assistance. An imbalance of adrenal glands, hormones, cortisol, thyroid, insulin, serotonin, dopamine, endorphins, glutamate, histamines, GABA, PMS, menopause, diabetes, hereditary and genetic disorders, etc. This is where medical doctors, testing, and pharmaceuticals are a modern miracle.

Visceral – we feel this when our metabolic, circulatory, or oxidative systems are hampered. May include lack of exercise or too much exercise, hyper or hypoglycemia, pH, glucose, sugar imbalances, impaired detoxification, bloodflow issues, heartrate incongruence, hypertension, breathing and lung conditions. Too much exertion, caffeine, sugar, alcohol, overeating, hunger, dehydration, and polluted air hurts. Hydration, pacing activity, prioritizing sleep, simple foods eaten regularly, and clean air helps. All easier said than done.

Immune – our system as it relates to what it encounters. Inflammation, bloating, cramping, nausea, digestive problems, rashes, hives, allergies, asthma, apnea, congestion, cough, fevers, tremors, anxiety, headaches, and sleep issues are signs that our system isn’t functioning optimally. Lifestyle helps. Noticing foods, triggers, and sensitivities. Limiting exposure to things that our own quirky system doesn’t like. These tend to ebb and flow and change and are often tricky to pinpoint. At least in my experience. 

Infectious – what gets passed around and a healthy system hopefully handles as a temporary inconvenience including viral, bacterial, fungal, and parasitic infections: like bites, bugs, colds, flus, coronavirus, norovirus, strep, mono, covid, lyme, MRSA, MMR, UTIs, ebola, polio, hepatitis, meningitis, yeast, pox, worms, cooties, and a host of great unknowns. These are often aided with some kind of active intervention. What kind of intervention varies and gets complicated but a common thread is that they require time in conjunction with a lot detoxing. Things like fresh air, clean water, quality sleep, healthy nourishment, pooing, peeing, sweating, and I have to think, tears. My system is overrun with these infectious stressors and they don’t want to leave. I’m a bit too hospitable it seems. 

Toxic – these are rough. Not everything is harmful to everyone but checking the stuff we consume and absorb and breathe often makes a dramatic difference. Sometimes things we assume are safe or benign aren’t: water and air quality, molds, pesticides, herbicides, deterrents, sanitizers, industrial and agriculture pollution, heavy metals, solvents, cleaners, fumes, dust, sprays, food additives, preservatives, herbs, meds, antibiotics, drugs, chemicals, dyes, detergents, soaps, lotions, air fresheners, candles, perfumes, bedding, cookware, plastics, etc.

Emotional – life is complicated. What happens in our lives affects our physical health and ability to heal. Things like finances, caregiving, death of a family member or friend, end of a relationship, discord, hard news, unwanted change, internal conflict, dysfunctional dynamics, childhood hurt, past harm, addiction, political unrest, witnessing violence or cruelty, safety concerns, lack of resources, powerlessness, etc. These kind of stressors can be made less difficult by working on communication skills, emotional intelligence, and acknowledging our feelings. This is also where music, art, counseling, therapy, and support groups can be a gift to ourselves and those around us.

Cognitive – refers to our mental load and thinking process. It can include things like learning new material, changing habits, exam prep, vocation/education with a high demand of cognitive functions, intense concentration, budgeting, scheduling, logistics, prioritizing, difficult tasks, complicated decisions, problem solving, conflict resolution, navigating danger, unclear communication, over-commitment, unmet deadlines, incompatibilities, avoidance, grudges, shame, pessimism, unrealistic expectations / goals / dreams via ourselves or others, endless chores, obligations, and agendas. Cognitive stressors can often be eased with a perspective shift, adequate planning, adaptability, and personal efficacy. Formal and informal mentors, coaches, teachers, and advisors can help. As does a desire to reevaluate and learn.

Spiritual – the depth of meaning and purpose we have in our existence. The quality of the relationship we have with ourselves, others, the universe, and our Creator. It is beyond religion or ethics or morals. Spiritual health involves deciding whom and what we value, and then making intentional choices that reflect and honor and appreciate those values. It is how we mindfully express, engage, and connect.

Sensory – the world gets a bit much. Excessive or ongoing external stimuli, harsh noises, misophonia, bright / white / blue / flashing light, strong smells, smoke, stagnant air, rough fabrics, unfit clothing, chronic pain, too much information, conversation, interaction, contact, or confinement. Lack of solitude. It helps to notice when our system is becoming overwhelmed and then make adjustments to our environment with things like attire, air movement, temp regulation, lighting, music, earplugs, headphones, sunglasses, meditation, exercise, grounding, water, and our own time-out. I’m a sensitive ambivert by nature but this gets much worse for me with other stressors present.

Energetic – energetic stressors are so weird, akin to tinfoil hats. But especially when a system is sensitive from being out of whack, energy vibes get pretty real. Things like seasons, weather, barometric pressure shifts, storm fronts, moon phases, solar flares, geomagnetic storms but also electrosmog / EMF that emits from all electronics: like powerlines, cell towers, cell phones, computers, smartmeters, wifi. Unplugging helps our body. and our mind. and our soul. and our relationships.

Ideally, we aren’t this intense. We aren’t complacent, but we also don’t sit around obsessing over health and stressors and causes and remedies. We live a beautifully manageable life. Because our system stays balanced and handles the wide array of stressors like a seasoned batter. Adequately prepared, adjusting and compensating for each ball as it comes. But then sometimes they are big or take us by surprise or hit our system weird. There isn’t enough bandwidth to deal with the stressors we already have let alone anything extra. The balls keep flying in but the processor has maxed its capacity. The system needs intervention and rest to mitigate damage and recover.

Unraveling stressors can be hard and complicated… but I do love rest! For me– rest is what happens outside the prep, effort, and grind. That state when things feel easy and natural and relaxed. It is when we are simply appreciating the situation for everything that it is, light and dark and hazy. Not wishing, worrying, contemplating, or complaining. Just letting it be what it is. It is a state that I strive to be in as often as possible. It is different from distraction or lounging or numbing or entertainment or productivity. When I was healthier, that state was found in adventures and projects and connection and curiosity. In making dinners, long walks, travel, photography, spreadsheets, crafting, gardening, live music, lots of socializing… and being kinda extra. Now, I still find that state. And just as often. But in much less active and interactive ways. It is in the seasonal rhythms and backyard birds and NYT puzzles and Premier League… and as little extra as possible.